Put Yourself in Your Their Shoes

It’s easy to take the bad moods personally, but the best thing you can do when your child is throwing a fit is to empathize rather than answer with your own outburst. Take a moment to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective on why they might be upset. Perhaps they’re tired or hungry and feel a little irritable, or they’re bored and the only outlet they can find is to act out to get your attention. Think about what you can say and do to help them work through the problem in a healthy way rather than shutting them down or fueling the fire with your own frustration.

Give Feedback Instead of Criticism

Constructive criticism may be better than flat-out nitpicking, but it’s still criticism, and this may do harm to some kids. Children--especially children at a young age--develop their sense of self-worth through the eyes of their parents, and they’ll absorb all of the words and actions you direct at them whether they’re positive or negative. Rather than a criticism-based mindset, try to convert to an approach rooted in feedback that they can learn and grow from. Avoid making statements that could be damaging to their self-esteem and focus on being compassionate and forgiving.

Teach Them Positive Behavior

A child’s temperament is heavily influenced by watching how their parents act. They’re far more likely to tantrum and argue if they’ve learned that same behavior from a parent lashing out in front of them. Your kids are watching you more often than you may think. Before you respond by yelling or sulking, ask yourself if this is how you would want them to behave in a similar situation. Model the traits you want them to grow up emulating: be respectful, thankful, kind, friendly, loving, honest, and encourage your child to have a positive response when their first reaction is to be negative.

Throw Out the Negativity