Moms are the leading experts of multitasking, and there’s no better proof of that than mothers who work alongside their duties of parenthood. Between changing diapers, getting kids out the door in the morning, answering emails, taking calls, arranging playdates, and so much more, working moms have a lot on their plates. The idea of bringing “balance” to our lives is something we constantly strive towards, but with so many tasks to juggle throughout the day, this fabled balance may seem constantly out of reach. It doesn’t have to be such an exhausting struggle. While perfect harmony isn’t a reasonable goal, smaller adjustments that work for you and your family are achievable. Here are some simple ways to balance life as a mom, brought to you by your friends at Romp n' Roll.
There’s a great deal of mental stress that goes into raising a family and moving along in your career at the same time, so you don’t need the added strain of a messy schedule. Organize your daily and monthly agenda, plan ahead, and take shortcuts to keep your schedule as clean as possible. You can try preparing outfits and lunches the night before to free up some time in the morning, ordering groceries online to save time and guarantee you don’t forget anything important, answering emails and scheduling calls after you drop off your kids instead of before to make getting out the door less hectic, and keeping track of appointments, events, and deadlines so you don’t get caught off guard later on. You can take advantage of different resources (e.g. planners, lists, communal calendars, apps) to visually lay out your list of to-do’s and relieve some of your mental pressure.
Work and motherhood take up a lot of space in your day-to-day life, and if you also have a partner or a spouse it can be easy for the two of you to let your relationship take a backseat as you labor to juggle everything else. But your partner should be your biggest support as you work together to maintain your household, and striving to spend quality time with each other will both bring excitement back to your relationship and bring a further sense of stability to your home. Go out on regular date nights, return to activities or places that the two of you enjoyed before parenthood, try something new and different, or simply sit down for a quiet half-hour to reconnect without the kids or pressures of work. Remind yourself to make your marriage or relationship a priority; you’ll find it will have a positive effect on everyone in your home.
After a long day at work, coming home to be overwhelmed by housework is a heavy burden to fall squarely on your shoulders. Instead of doing all the work by yourself, share the load by enlisting the help of your partner and, especially, your children. Delegating even simple tasks to your kids so they can help out around the house will teach them valuable skills and habits that they will carry with them into adulthood. Everyone in your household who is able to should contribute to keeping the home put together and running smoothly.
Spending all your time either with a little person who’s wholly dependent on you or at work is draining to your perception of yourself. It can be lonely and monotonous, and in the process, you can start to forget about taking care of you too. So though it should certainly be a priority, as well as a source of pride and admiration, your only identity cannot and should not be “working mother”. It may seem unrealistic to think about taking time for yourself when you’re already so busy, but your life outside of parenthood and work is a big part of what makes you who you are. Give time to your hobbies, passions, interests, friends, and self-care. Find a creative outlet (drawing, reading, writing, cooking), tend to your own needs (even something as small as taking a shower, exercising for ten minutes, or putting on a little makeup), and reach out to your friends for support or a night out. Anything that brings you joy will help to break up the tedium of the day-to-day and bolster your sense of identity.
One of the biggest supports you can get as a working mom is talking to other women in the same position. You aren’t alone! There are so many women just like you who go through the same challenges, emotions, questions and balancing acts every day. Seek out mom friends whom you can relate to and bond with. Empower each other by sharing tips and insights, arrange get-togethers and nights out, coordinate playdates, and help each other out by sharing responsibilities when you can. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and sharing your ups and downs will remind you that you don’t have to do this by yourself.
There is nothing quite as devastating to a working mother’s morale as being weighed down with “mom-guilt”. Unfortunately, as a mother, you can find yourself being judged or inherently feeling guilty for “abandoning” your children when returning to or starting work full-time. The stereotype of fathers being expected to be the ones providing for the family while the mother stays home with the children is anything but universally applicable. Some women don’t have the option to be a stay-at-home mom, and some partners agree that it is either easier or more mutually satisfying to have the mother work while the father stays at home, some partners both work while the children go to daycare, and some women simply find joy or pride in their work and return because they don’t want to give up their career. Whatever your situation is, you don’t owe any explanation to people who question your choice. All that really matters is that you have confidence in yourself that you’re making the best choice for your family!